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8.10.09

The one of bests thing I have ever cryed about.

I always try to make it a point to meditate as well as spend time with God. I read, I write, I do anything that makes me feel as close to him as possible.

And I have honestly not regretted a shred of it.

He is the most beautiful being I have ever known, known of, and will ever know. I have the most intimate relationship with him than anyone, no one in my life comes as close as He is to me. He listens and is subtle and is gracious and is kind. He is perfect.

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It is interesting how He works, too 

The  biggest thought came to me through reading, and it wasn't even volded or underlined, it was highly underrated in a way that in my 3 years of salvation, it has never really occured to me.

I can hurt God's feelings.

Can you imagine this? How selfish can one be not to make this most obvious realization? God has love, and when we hurt Him, the one that he gave his Son's life for, and take His name in vain or curse at his being, He feels and He hurts. I've only had thoughts hit me like that a few times in my life.

It is humbling to the full extent.

When someone says, "Oh my God!," I 've never had a real reason to tell someone not to say that other than it's just wrong. It is, it's wrong because it hurts God. He is not to blame, he is to glorify; everything happens for a reason, it's all in His will. To say oh my God means to blame, it means to. Do you think that God deserves any of that?

I cry out on the inside imagining God even the slightest bit hurt. It is one of the best things I have ever cried about.

To meditate with God is to know yourself and to know your flaws, to fix yourself, and to huble yourself.

This realization is the realiztion that everyone needs to hold close to their heart and mind.

God, I am sorry.

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