Funnel Cake

When I breathe in these cotton candy clouds, I smell something that I thought was forever lost. Candy swirls play on tents and stuffed animals are won on shelves, I eat this creammy dough and wonder how glad I am to have my life be as this summer day: fresh, crisp, cold, yet joyous.

I stand in the picture booth with myself and I, not feeling alone at all. I was alone, but not lonely.

I can stand to be alone without you, I am a gentlewoman without a gentleman. But I depend on myself and my God.

Who needs a man when you have the Man?

I ponder these thoughts while wiping off the powder sugar, and smile that life is so sweet.


Was I Really Right

I thought that my life needed a man, but I knew that I could never find the one in my mind. The man that I loved within my heart was nonexistent, is nonexistent, but I hope to God he isn't going to be nonexistent. The way I am, wanting to be pure in heart is something that should be prized, but something that is thrown away. My heart, my soul, my emotions that bring me back to you, although I know you are not for me.

I despise the hurt and bruises you've placed on my heart.

Was I really right for letting you in this far?

Am I right, I only imagined us for a few days, a few moments, a few thoughts.

God, please forgive me of my mistakes. Because I feel like a mistake, too.


Writing on Flower Petals

Yes, I've been here for a long time. This cafe is too small, my hands are too big, my shoulders are too broad, I am Alice in this small cafe I grow, I shrink, I wonder when it's my turn to drown. "Melissa, dear, please have some more." No, this coffee makes me short and big, fat and yellow, but I swallow it down to be polite; I swallow it so I can close my eyes and think just for a second. Am I doing this right? Am I doing life right? I lick my lips and thirst, but not for coffee,

but for more water, less tears, and more happiness.

This all happens in three minutes, three minutes that I have wasted waiting at that cafe table in that small cafe room, plucking off wilted flower petals, and writing my message to the world. "If you are not happy, make someone else happy." Oh, if only I took my own advice.

I think to myself, why am I here? Not in this world, but the place I hate the most? I stare into the wall then  through translucent faces. I gaze into translucent souls and wonder if the comfort that I did feel was still even in anyone's exsistence.

Will anyone read my flower petals? I cry and scream, but no one will read. But the thought that breaks me,

"Maybe I should read it myself."



Today in class, my friend borrowed a piece of paper, Unaware, I gave him the piece that had a poem I sketched down a few months before. I'm still unaware to what was there, and I wish that I knew.

But, he said it was really good....

But I rarely share anything out of my blog. It's personal and real and has teardrops on every stanza. To think someone has it in their pocket breaks my heart.

I'm appreciative that someone cherishes, but am I this open? Can I be this open?

I feel incomplete.



Today we were to dress up as a famous French person that affected history. This including the map of their life, poem of who they are, and what they would wear today.

I chose Coco Chanel. Elle est tres belle!

My teacher loved my outfit, and I felt pretty courageous. I love dressing up.

I love the vintage look. <3


I almost forgot.

I almost forgot that You were here,
where I live,
and where I stand.

I almost forgot that You had died,
but rose again.
You took a stand.

I almost forgot that I loved You,
because you first loved me.

Thank you.



Can you say bad news?
(Can you say bad?)
I have news to bring you, and it's not on the bright side.
It might break you,
it might hurt you,
it might bring back something that hits you.

I'm strumming
your last nerve

I can't be with you.

Oh darling, I can't find it!

Well today is a homework day...
oh, how they dare to give work!
But, I find myself here again, just writing away.
But I have a question for you,
I've been trying to find a simple background for my blog for a massive amount of time, but I can't find any links, hints, or clues!
Where did you find yours?



Things about me.

I like: that I am so content right now with life, love, and the things that I have.

I don't like: big hair covering your whole head.

I've planned: babysitting while trying not to puch myself squre in the nose for going to to bed so late last night.

I want to say to someone special: I will always stay up for you.