Sometimes I'd rather be intense and quiet rather than being this constant lighthouse of joy and saccharine smiles that everyone sees me as. To be honest, I don't think I've had a real smile in a long time.

I just don't want to be the person I am anymore, I don't know. I can't honestly say that I like myself everyday, and I don't know how to change it. I'm not something to be proud of, I'm disappointed in my own character; people see me as something better than I actully am. I wish I could see Melissa through someone else's eyes, and not my own.

I wish I could understand this. I wish someone could understand me.