i know my life is a bit out of control, and i know i have to change things so it's better. but i'm so crushed in spirit, all i want to do is lay in bed. lay in bed and curl up and not say anything. i want to put my terrarium up in front of me and what the moss grow; i want to watch the water evaporate, condense, evaporate, condense, evaporate, condense, a never ending cycle... i hate waking up in the morning. i hate it. because i am myself. but who in the world would i ever say this to? really? i don't tell anyone this. i'm completely crazy, i don't know what to do with myself sometimes.