depression takes over your life, your breath...it's not yours anymore. you don't want it to be yours anymore. it's at the mercy of the devil. and that's not what he's known for.

there are things that i wish i wanted to do, but those things lose interest. i want to be with friends, but why be with friends when i could sleep and not be hurt?

I caught myself saying, "I want to go home", but found that I was home in bed. A home is a place for comfort, and finding none there, I was utterly crushed at the state of misery I was in.

I feel like I should talk to someone, but I don't feel like there is a soul in the world that cares. If I don't care, who would care?

Friends. What are friends anyway? They mean nothing to you, and more importantly, you mean nothing to them. They are convenient supplies of happiness that expire within a short amount of time. Comfort? In what? They only comfort in convenience or when it makes "sense". I have no friends. I have curious acquaintances; convenient companions. They are no one to you.

I take that back to some extent. There's always one person to make you smile.

Only Things That Make Me feel Better Anymore:

• sweet things
• mindless television
• shawn (only sometimes)
• sleep

edit: this was a draft i felt was very important to me from 2 years ago. i'm glad i'm better. i got help.